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Beth Finke - Why I Love My Library

Beth Finke with her Seeing Eye dog. Photo by Mary Ivory.

Beth Finke

Chicago, Ill.

The spots showed up during our honeymoon. "An eye disease," ophthalmologists back home told us. "Retinopathy." It was October 1984. A year later, I was blind. To say it was a tough year is an understatement. I've always been independent, and entertaining myself that year was particularly difficult. I never liked television much when I could see well, so having to struggle to watch it seemed absurd. I used to spend hours at our upright piano playing Broadway tunes and pop songs. Now, unable to see the sheet music, I was limited to plinking out simple pieces. Playing was unrewarding, depressing.

My husband, Mike, helped the cause with a Christmas gift: a second-hand fiddle. It was a struggle, but after a few lessons I was able to scratch out a tune. What a relief it was learning to do something new, something hard, when I was starting to fail at simple things like stepping over curbs. Or making the morning coffee. Or reading.

Moving my eyes to read words on a page shifted the blobs and spots marring my vision, often obscuring the very text I was trying to read. But I was determined to continue reading newspapers, spreading the paper out on the floor and hovering over it like a robot. I'd hold my head still while moving my trunk back and forth, scanning the pages. I checked out large-print books from the library but soon found that the larger print was worse. Wider words required more eye movement.

My vision worsened. I lost my job with a study abroad program (this was before the Americans with Disabilities Act passed). I quit reading. Surgeries were attempted.

One day a hospital social worker brought in a box the size and weight of a Chicago phone book. "A special tape recorder," she explained, "from the Library of Congress."

That tape recorder saved my life. The Library of Congress provided me with free books on tape in the hospital. Listening to books was my escape from the medical tests and all the bad news. Had it not been for my books, I might have given up completely.

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