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Meg ClaytonPalo Alto, CA
Yes, that's me—my face, anyway—poking through the mural at the
Sierra Madre Library, August 1970, a white cartoon spaceman reclining
in zero gravity with the moon and stars in the background and a bright
red book in my
painted hands. Though my knees areၼ on the cork tile
of the library floor, my feet are well above the ground, blasting off
into space with the same glee I would experience when, thirty-three
Augusts later, I would sell my first novel.
That was the summer
after Miss Wilson's fifth grade, the summer of my new braces (see them
there, in my triumphant grin?) and, even more embarrassing, a first bra
on my eleven-year-old breasts. The summer I waved goodbye through the
back window of the family station wagon, leaving Chicago for a
six-month rental in Los Angeles, where I would find myself in a tiny
bedroom at the opposite end of the house from my parents and my
brothers, an unbearably shy girl without a single friend.
The
summer wouldn't, it turned out, be half as tough as the fall, when I
would climb aboard my court-ordered school bus to hear a boy hiss, "If
you don't shut up I'm going to rip that bra off your boobs," and
lunchtime would find me running scared from a gaggle of taunting girls.
Books have taught me a lot about that kind of thing, although not, by
then, enough to make those months much easier. Or maybe they had; maybe
it would have been worse if I hadn't read so much.
There was a
big old climbing tree in the backyard of that rental house, a garden
wall beyond which were flowers like I'd ever seen, and a van parked up
the hillside housing long-haired hippies I was admonished to avoid.
There was a library, too, just a short bike ride down the hill—a much
longer ride back. And it was having a contest.
To win, I had only to read the most books.
Nearly
every day, I took a book and some cookies and climbed the tree or sat
on the garden wall or, after an elderly lady invited me to, in the
garden itself. I read a lot of short books that summer, determined as I
was to win that contest; most days, I flew downhill to the library on
my Schwinn to return one and check out another. By August, though, the
librarians were discreetly pointing me toward more challenging reading:
books about spunky girls, the best of whom even shared my name—girls
who did all sorts of interesting things that I began to dream I might
do myself. I think of those books as my discovery, although looking
back on it now I see kindly, patient librarians pointing a
freckle-faced, long-haired blond girl with the name "Meg Waite" on her
library card to books in the fiction section, under "L'Engle,
Madeleine" and "Alcott, Louisa May."
I might have read A Wrinkle in Time again and again that summer except that ... well ... for the contest, it only counted once.
As
I'm sure those librarians predicted, I spent that summer imaging myself
as Meg Murray setting off into space with Charles Wallace and Calvin,
as Meg March or her sister Jo, the "little woman" who wrote.
A
year later, I would, like Jo, begin writing—diaries first, then poems.
The confidence to try a novel myself would not come until I returned to
Sierra Madre years later, leaving my law office in downtown Los Angeles
on the spur of the moment, pointing my car eastward with no idea
exactly where I'd lived those long six months but thinking if I could
find the library, I could find the house.
I did find the
library, and from that starting point I worked my way back to that long
uphill. I wasn't quite sure I'd found the right house—the end house on
a dead-end street off the hill street, but which street was it,
exactly? The one tree that looked familiar no longer overlooked a
garden, if it ever had. But I found what I was looking for anyway: the
memory of lifting my feet to my bicycle handle bars, my hair flapping
behind me as I sped downhill to librarians who would befriend a lonely
child and stories that, though I didn't realize it then, would help me
explore the possibilities of whom I might become.
Which turns
out to be a somewhat-less-shy novelist with a husband and two children
and, yes, plenty of friends. And I live two blocks from the Palo Alto
library, main branch. No hills here, and a safety helmet holds my short
hair in place these days, but still, it's an awfully nice ride.